Why Do Sociopaths Do the Awful Things They Do ?

The short answer is that it feels good, to them at least. The slightly longer (and more useful) answer is that it takes extreme , risky or even criminal behavior on their part in order to feel anything at all.

Sociopaths (some shrinks use the term psychopath , but I reserve psychopath for criminal sociopaths) are those people for whom the personal experience of emotionalized sensation is severely muted or even absent.

In simpler words, sociopaths don’t (can’t) experience feelings like the rest of us. Their inner volume is turned down, in some cases way down. They are often highly intelligent (in the strict IQ sense of the word ) so they clearly see the vast sweep of the human experience taking place around them. But they cannot experience or feel the humaness of that experience for themselves.

They are literally starved , which usually leads to all sorts of really bad consequences resulting from the things they do to fill that void.

The closest they ever get to emotional feelings are those temporarily heightened states of awareness that come from fear, aggression , drugs and sex . In other words : jack up the biochemicals in any way they can , natural or otherwise , or both.

Picture this archetypal scene from a corny Western to visualize what I’m trying to explain :

The Hero vs Villain Gunfight

Two men stand twenty paces apart in the dusty main street of some western town. Closeup on the hero’s face shows a grim yet resolute visage. He’s not happy in any sense of the word, but he is determined to do what must be done, a bead of sweat graces his brow. Now the camera pans over to the bad guy. Amazing ! He ain’t unhappy at all. He’s lovin’ it ! Disdain slowly draws thin lips into a cruel smile. He looks keyed up and cool both at the same time. Death (for someone) hangs in the air but the villain is relishing every second of it ! This is his element . There is no place that he would rather be.

Now that’s obviously not a slice of real life by any stretch , but which of those two guy do you think is normal, and which one the sociopath?

Unfortunately for villains , even when jacked up on hormones of one kind or another, the sociopath still isn’t feeling the finer and more complexly nuanced emotional experiences enjoyed by normal human beings. At best they are stuck with muffled , drastically reduced , experience of the baser sensations (sights, sounds, aroma, flavors and textures , sex and bloodlust) yet still lacking the ability to deeply experience the full spectrum even of those.

Therefore, the typical sociopath places absurdly high importance on the strictly physical sensations. Now, everyone enjoys good tasting food and drink, but the sociopath will tend to be an over-the-top epicurean gourmet and wine connoisseur . Same goes for sight, sound, and touch . Everybody likes pleasant sensation, but for the sociopath these ordinary commodities become unduly important , even obsessively so (and ironically unattainable) because for them that’s all there is!

Oh the cruel justice of it all! To crave sensation and yet be so numb! Truly, they live in Hell.

Hence the drugs, alcohol, boundless greed and a myriad of sexual perversions , anything and everything that might jack up the hormones enough for them to feel the sensation, and yet never be able to genuinely partake . Their solution , all too often , is to escalate the extremeness of their risky or destructive behavior until it kills them , but not soon enough for their countless victims.

This emotional deafness extends to, and explains, their characteristic lack of empathy and penchant for cruelty as well. Lack of empathy is a defining trait , as are the corollary cruelty and sadism.

This telltale lack of empathy for others is not due to any deficiency in the powers of imagination.

Indeed, sociopaths are often gifted in the aspect of imagination that we call abstract reasoning. What’s missing from their mental imaging is the same crucial component that’s missing in them : the experience of emotional feelings . No, it is not that they can’t imagine; It’s that they can’t accurately imagine something that they have no capacity to experience for themselves in the first place.

For example, since they cannot themselves feel love they cannot then imagine love in others as being anything other than foolishness, avarice , lust or some other miscalculated ploy of self interest. That’s how come they’re so talented and ruthless in recognizing and using other people’s love as a means of furthering their own ends.

To a normal person the expression “Love is blind” is wistful poetry. To a sociopath it’s simply rule #1 for exploiting suckers.

In other words, to a sociopath everyone else is a sociopath too, only dumber. They believe that every human being is running a lifelong scam motivated by self interest alone. The only difference (in their view) is that their victims are weaklings and chumps who deserve to be victimized because they are weak and stupid.

It’s not curable, by the way. It’s not possible to talk a sociopath into a nicer frame of mind . They are “Mind Blind”. They don’t possess the mental hardware to perceive the world in any other way than they do. No matter what you say to a sociopath you are still talking to a sociopath. In fact, the only thing that might get changed, is you , and not for the better either.

If you’re lucky and they’re just some garden variety sociopath, you might get away with no worse than a broken heart or empty checking account. But if those smiling eyes belong to a psychopath you could wind up in a landfill with various parts missing.

So, all you #PizzaGate investigators and faithful supporters , I’m not suggesting that you be careful out there. Be as enthusiastic as you like. But do be observant . Know full well that psychopaths and the sociopaths who cover for them are not nice people gone bad. They are just plain bad, and don’t you ever forget it.

Now, go get ’em !


The UNTOLD story of MKUltra

Ain’t life just too strange for words? Dragged into another enormous battle in the last stage of life, and it’s turning out to be just like the one that indelibly shaped the first stages of my adulthood more than 40 years ago.

Don’t expect literature here. This little rant is pretty much stream-of-consciousness played out on a cheap keyboard, and I intend to just write it all down fast and slap it onto the Internet for Gab.ai . Let the consequences and opinions (and possible acts of retaliation) fall where they may.

Are any of you reading this old enough to remember the MKUltra scandal? If so, then read this particularly carefully because I’m going to tell you something new about that. Something that you definitely could not have known before. I’m not going to try explaining MKUltra . It is so sick and weird that you wouldn’t believe me anyway. Go read the Church Committee findings if you don’t already know about it (or Wikipedia if time or patience is short.)

What I’m going to explain is not what it was or how it ended. This is eye-witness testimony about how it started . This was years before the Church Committee . This concerns “first-causes” on why that Committee had to be called in the first place, what made it necessary.

In other words, you are about to learn what were the first clues brought to light , which then slowly grew into the scandal that shook the CIA to it’s core and changed forever the way that Americans (and the world at large, for that matter) perceive the secret agencies who inform government from the shadows. (the CIA is just one of many.)

I was present at the pathetic “ground zero” when and where it all started. And ZERO is a good word for it. The true start was so close to nothing that it almost didn’t even happen. So, you have probably heard ( or maybe you personally think ) that PizzaGate has “thin leads”, and “skimpy/wacky/ circumstantial” evidence, not to mention “insanely bizarre conspiracy theories” and an unlikely cast of HIGHLY dubious sources. Hah!

Compared to the opening days and months of the MKUltra investigation (or, more accurately, what would become that investigation) PizzaGate looks like Elliot Ness and Walter Cronkite presenting surveillance videos and signed confessions to the Supreme Court.

It was one guy. One total nobody. A wreck of a barely alive near total travesty of a man. That was the start.

Here’s what happened : a convicted psychotic bomber named Paul had been in the Missouri Institute of Psychiatry for so long that he was like part of the furniture. He had been on tranqs and anti-psychotics for so long that his “Thorazine Shakes” looked like advanced Parkinsons disease. Paul was so completely institutionalized that he liked it on the inside, and so well behaved that his jailers/doctors considered him as a sort of unofficial “Trustee” and gave him , essentially, unmonitored run of the place. As a docile patient/inmate (who had been there longer than they had) Paul was invisible. He behaved like a janitor so they let him be a janitor, in which capacity he had access to every single waste basket and trash can in every file room and shrink’s office in the entire Institute.

That was Big Mistake #1 on their part, because even though Paul was psychotic and paranoid he was NOT stupid. What he did during all that time was to carefully search for and collect doctors’ correspondence, research records, dictaphone recordings and financial documents from the waste baskets, trash cans and dumpsters at the Missouri Institute of Psychiatry. He was at it for years. The ‘best of the worst’ that he had amassed by the end came to more than 1,500 pages of incriminating evidence against the researchers and administrators at M.I.P. .

He only partially understood the documents he had taken, but he understood them well enough to know that they were evidence that the good doctors at M.I.P. had been ( and still were) soliciting and accepting cash kickbacks from big pharmaceutical companies to carry out drug testing on mental patients who were incapable of informed consent, that several patients had died as a result, and that the deaths had been covered up.

The documents showed a hell of lot more than that, actually , but no one even began to suspect that for nearly a year.

Then M.I.P. made Big Mistake #2. They kicked Paul out of the only home (virtually) that he had ever known. They told him that he was now rehabilitated , and that due to budget cuts the institute could no longer afford to house and feed “cured” people like him. So they just tossed him out on the streets to fend for himself.

Paul was suddenly homeless, hungry, and scared, but more than that he was pissed off ! Not to make light of a serious situation, but it strikes me as singularly unwise to piss off a paranoid psychotic bomber.

Crazy Paul became vengeful, but his response was remarkably sane. He reckoned that the best way to wreak vengeance was to expose the criminal malpractice and human rights violations at the Missouri Institute of Psychiatry. To accomplish that he needed to somehow publish those boxes full of incriminating documents, and that’s not so easy for a convicted mad bomber ex mental patient.

Luckily for you , and me , and for the world at large, Paul went looking in exactly the right place. The craziest right place imaginable. He found two other crazy guys. Actually, he found Fred. Fred had already found me, and we knew each other fairly well from earlier news story collaborations.

Paul never said anything about HOW he found Fred Rock (the Rev. Fredrick M. Rock, of the infamous Church of Scientology) , but Fred was already using me (and vice versa) as a low caliber gonzo journalist just-starting-to-be-known for rabidly attacking the “Establishment” at every opportunity whether they deserved it or not.)  (Just for the record, they usually deserved it.)

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!  Dammit!  Yes,  I know that Scientology is psycho in it’s own right. I know that a lot better than I ever wanted to know anything. But that is  (almost)  totally beside the point !

The POINT,  if you will just settle down for a minute, is that the first crack in the steel wall protecting MKUltra came from arguably the most disreputable sources imaginable. Let me indulge in a little repetition and  quote from earlier in this essay:

You think “PizzaGate” started with thin leads, skimpy circumstantial evidence, insanely bizarre conspiracy theories and an unlikely cast of HIGHLY questionable characters ?

In comparison to the opening days and months of what would eventually become the MKUltra investigation PizzaGate is like Elliot Ness and Walter Cronkite presenting surveillance videos and signed confessions to the Supreme Court.”

Let’s get back to what happened.

Paul gave the documents to Fred. Fred read them very thoroughly before doing anything, and took to sleeping with a loaded pistol under his pillow. Literally. A real gun. Real bullets. Under his pillow. Not a joke . Fred said that just knowing about the illegal human experimentation, cash kick-backs from leading drug companies, and patient deaths was dangerous , but that physically possessing the original documents was enough to get him killed. He calmed down after breaking the story to the press (and not getting “suicided” for it ) , but for a couple of weeks there he was definitely freaked out.

The story ran like gangbusters in the St. Louis Post-Disptch , Globe Democrat and all of the Saint Louis regional Television and Radio news stations. We felt like heroes. Incidentally, my role was to go out and sell the story over and over again to every media outlet we could reach. Paul was the unnamed “confidential source”, Fred was the public face, and I was the overlooked media hack. We got TONS of coverage, the “M.I.P. / Human Experimentation Scandal” ramped up beautifully, and Fred was becoming a semi-celebrity.

Then suddenly, with no forewarning whatsoever , Ka-BLAMM!!! We got counter attacked so hard and so heavy that we literally didn’t know what had hit us. Talk about shock & awe.

One day the media was lovin’ us up and taking every new story we handed them. We doled out the juiciest documents a few at a time, with startling new revelations once per week or so. Then , overnight , they started in just killin’ us with all their might, running press attacks against the evil crazed deplorable wackos and cultists, ( while praising the noble humanitarian accomplishments of those sainted doctors at the Magnificent Institute of Psychiatry.) Both of the big Saint Louis daily newspapers ran full-front-page assaults (plus multiple full pages inside, with the center spread) day after day for a week.

I mean , W H A T , T H E , F U C K ?! Who in the HELL had we pissed off?

Good question. It took a lot of spies, researchers, lawyers and analysts to answer it.

Turns out the ‘pissor’ was the Central Intelligence Agency . The drug trials at M.I.P. were a small part of MKUltra. A ridiculously small and insignificant part, but a real part nonetheless, and the M.I.P. scandal was the first time Ultra ever been even partially exposed. That was NOT so small . The fact that the key research doctors, funding channels, pharmaceutical companies and control agents were directly linkable back to the far more clandestine CIA projects constituting the core of the Ultra program , was viewed by CIA as an extremely dangerous vulnerability . They knew that totally insane and unbelievably evil MKUltra was utterly indefensible. Tracks had to be covered and the news expose’ had to be stopped. Immediately following the big news outlets carried the M.I.P scandal CIA’s new director , Richard Helms ordered the destruction of all MKUltra documents held within the CIA. Luckily about 20,000 pages existed elsewhere & escaped the purge.

What about stopping the expose’ ? Well, none other than Director of Central Intelligence himself William Colby flew to Saint Louis, personally, and spent two days in closeted meetings with George Duncan Bauman (publisher) and top editorial staff of the Globe Democrat newspaper. The day after Colby returned to Washington the Globe Democrat launched its assault, followed days later by the Post-Dispatch.

So, gentle reader, what do I think you should you make of all this?

First, I think you should make careful note of who has attacked you (meaning you as a follower or investigator of #PizzaGate). New York Times? Washington Post? The Guardian? Newsweek?

Secondly, I think you should ask yourselves, who has enough clout and control to mount that scale of coordinated attack? And if PizzaGate is nothing, then why should they even bother? Don’t they have about five political forest fires that threaten the very center of their power? In other words “ “W H A T , T H E , F U C K ? Who in the HELL have we pissed off?”

Thirdly, I think you should look for inspiration back to a man who was about as close to a nobody as it is possible to get and still be breathing. A more or less deranged mental patient who spent the greater part of his life deservedly incarcerated in an insane asylum . . . who gathered up a few boxes of thin evidence suggesting that his doctors were up to some pretty bad stuff, and then (with a little help from a few people as deplorable as he was) used those documents to drop a bomb that is STILL exploding, with shock waves and reverberations that continue to circle the globe to this day, and which might , eventually, bring the mighty to their knees and reduce the amount of evil in this wretched world.

So the NY Times, Washington Post and MSM are insinuating (or flat-out saying) that PizzaGate can not be true because things such as real (&/or simulated) Satanist cannibalism torture ritual murder of children are just too too TOO totally off-the-wall unbelievably batshit crazy. Yeah. I guess. Sort of like an international conspiracy between Government Agencies, Leading Medical Corporations and Renowned Universities to seriously attempt the creation of “Manchurian Candidate” style assassins who could be remotely controlled with hallucinogenic super drugs from remote locations through ESP ?

Yeah, that sort of nutjob crazy. Well, too bad those are all documented as true MKUltra objectives. Nutso ? Well, of course they are nutso! No one said those people were anywhere even close to sane. What we proved is how criminally insane that monsters of perversity can get to be when given free rein , unlimited funding, and state-protected secrecy taken to the max.

The main stream media has (and will continue) to ridicule you. They will suggest that nothing exposed by people like you can be taken seriously. You are nothing. Yeah, I suppose you are. Like Paul, Fred and me were nothings. Non-persons. A still paranoid ex mental patient (true) , a “Fake Reverend” Cultist (true), and a turned-on dropped-out hippy alternative media gypsy (also true.)

I want you to understand this to the marrow of your bones and the last neuron quivering at the bottom of your brain pan :

Once you start digging for truth then from that point forward you actually don’t matter. Because from that point onward (and until the truth is proved to be either true, false or a mixture thereof) then only thing that matters is the truth itself.

Soldiers sometimes fall. That’s war. I strongly advise running away, but sometimes it won’t let you. When that happens you better turn and fight like your life depends on it, because it does.

Paul is dead, Fred successfully disappeared long ago, and I’m in the middle of nowhere living under a different name and thinking that this letter is probably one of my worst ideas ever. To recycle the horribly overused (but still true) vernacular, I am much too old for this kind of shit.

#PizzaGate is a story with legs for exactly the reasons you think it is : it’s based on terrible underlying truths. Your job is to find and expose those truths.

It is also a terribly corny working title, but too late to change that now. Who knows, maybe the corniness works in its favor in a ‘reverse psychology’ sort of way. It is SO bad that it’s good.

Don’t stop. Don’t apologize. Don’t hesitate or compromise or give ANY powerful psychopath even the slightest break or they will use your own misguided mercy to kill you. Be aware that you are not fighting “normal people gone bad.” You are fighting psychopaths. A few of you readers know what that means. If you do not know what that means or do not have rock solid and uncompromising understanding of sociopathy / psychopathy then you must stand clear of the firing line . Support the troops. That’s a valid contribution and no one should think the less of you for it.